A tortured little soul...

I’m in a dark room
After I shut the door
I stumble quietly across
The solid oak wood floor

How can this happen
I sink down to my knees
I fly my head upward
God help me please!

I have already taken out
The tiny little knife
The one that I have used so many times
To almost end my life

I cut myself regularly
I am a victim of inside pain
A tortured little soul
Who’s slowly gone insane

At school I am a very happy girl
Who smiles everyday
And yet I sit here thinking
When will things finally go my way?

Friends don’t know this inside
That I so darkly fear
Friends don’t know about my pain
And my many many tears

I tell everyone that I’m fine
When I know that it’s not true
I miss living carefree
I’m sick of living blue

So here I am in this bathroom
Vomiting up my insides
Slitting my writs and crying
It’s not like anyone cares besides

Death is staring me coldly in the face
I guess it is my turn
Life is a complex obstacle
One I didn’t completely learn

Blood drops down my arms
And suddenly the world twists
It turns completely dark
I guess from slitting my wrists

I open my eyes to my name
“Jordan we’re here for you”
I am screaming on the inside
I thought that I was through

I wanted to die
Why can’t you let me go?
Why don’t you understand?!
I guess I’ll never know

My mind starts to race
Then a tear rolls down my cheek
I want to find the right words
And then I do and finally speak

“Mom, dad, sister, brother
Why can’t you just let me go?
I wanted to be an angel
So bad you’ll never know”

Know one said anything
Mom just hugged me tight
And then I prayed again to god
That all would be all right

***Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means so much to me!***