My Antidote

*Please read ALL of this...i know it's sorta long*

Every night I lay in bed
with pain and desperation
I pray to God that
I won't wake again
my mind blank with anticipation.

I wake the next morning
and look around
I realize I am still here
God didn't save me
from this damn place
and I bend over and barf
from my fear.

My mind is in a trance
they say I'm not me,
I'll get over it eventually...
the truth is
I ran out of tears
So I barf the pain all out of me.

Smaller and smaller I become
I'm wasting away from here
soon I'll be gone
inside of myself
meanwhile, it's with this pencil I will disappear.

As I run this pencil back and forth
against my pale skin
blood gushes out
and I have a new scar
and through the cut lead poisoning rushes in.

I smile at my silver cuts
and all my bones
you can see jutting out
I smile at my disgusting life
while away on a cloud i float...
this is MY ANTIDOTE.