Bullying did this to me

I hold on to my arm
and relief comes settling in,
once again I'm hooked
how did this all begin?.
all it ever took
was a bully to ever start.
but they were never seeing
how they bruised my heart.
i never hated them
but instead i hate myself,
for never telling people
and for never speaking out.
one day i had the courage
to tell my mum and dad,
i thought it would be right
but i wish i never had.
thats when it got worse,
and it all got out of hand,
all the aggravation,
i just couldn't stand.
on that day i decided,
that i would take my life,
went over it in my head 4 times,
and decided it was right.
got home in time to talk
and waited for night to come,
said goodnight to my dad
and goodnight to mum.
pulled out the blooded blade,
and held it to my wrist,
closed my eyes so i couldn't see,
and tightly clenched my fist.