I just want to die

Am i so misunderstood
am i really that strange
y do i have to hide
y do i have to run
i am so sick of living
i just want to die
i cut my self very many times
i know that i shouldn't
but i don't care
i need it
it calms me
so y should u care
u tell me u love me
but still u love her
i was just a back up
y do i keep getting hurt?
its all ur fault
everything is
all the failure
all the pain
it is all because of u
no one will care if i die
no one like u
i know my family would cry
but i know no one else would
every night before i go to bed
guess what im always thinking in my head
i always wish that i would die
im always falling asleep with a knife in my hand
i always wish on the first star i see
that i would never wake up
so no one will ever see me