Pretend it never happened

Strain my eyes
tears i cant release
i need to cry
just stare at my feet
pretend it's all fine
and that i love life
i didn't cut
i haven't got a knife.
my parents didn't fight
i didn't break down
i'm not sinking
and i won't drown.
today was good
i didn't get bullied
i look forward to school
and i'm not worried.
lie to myself
that's all i can do
i don't want to die
i know that's true.
it's not like i will
my blood wont spill.
who am i kidding
i cant do this
suicide
is something i cant fix