Rain Drops

Can't seem to express,
Wish my tears and screams could translate into words,
Because they are how i feel,
Who i am,
Feel I'm standing still,
While everyone around me moves everywhere,
Growing, changing...
Yet I'm still the same,
The same girl who screams into her tear soaked pillow at night hoping to dream of a better day,
The girl who stays up all night writing her life away,
Cant seem to confess,
How i really feel,
I'm such a fool,
The girl who believes in self abuse,
Who looks up to you,
For not being afraid to be you,
I admire you,
The you, you have become,
You've changed so much over the years,
Yet here i am,
Still dwelling on all my runaway tears,
I still take the same road,
My mind the only one who laughs behind me,
I look over to see,
No, no one there to save me yet,
Soon my sun will set,
Cannot stay restricted for too long,
I yurn to explore the options on my body,
For the extent of my abuse to broaden,
Now Saturday is gone,
Sunday is turning into Monday,
Having to leave the comfort of both my Saviour's,
Unable to express my mind,
Going out to be seen by other eyes,
Maybe someone will pick me up from my knees,
Save me before i finally crumble to my end,
Hoping something will happen to me,
Praying the transparent barrier in my mind will break so I'm free to explore my body,
New places to abuse...
Look out through my window,
Rain viciously falling from the sky,
Hitting the ground,
Somehow i feel the same as the rain,
Falling so far,
Only to not be saved,
Only to hit the bottom and disappear never to return,
Some drops are able to be caught by someones hands,
But so many, too many have no ones hands to fall into just before the end,
Just like me...