Empty Memorandum

Laid out onto paper, my emotions don't seem real,
Every thought inside my mind, everything that I feel.
The secret script of my lonely life, laid open to your eyes,
The reasons why I used that knife, kept in deep disguise.
I try to explain my feelings, yet on the inside I can't speak,
On the outside I am labeled with the name-tag that says weak.
But I'm still here, I'm still moving on and on,
Here forever until I die, the day that I am gone.
My eyes show no emotion, yet you say that you can see,
A hint of glowing, actually showing, your eyes the real me.
The me I always choose not to show,
The same reasons about my scars, you'll never know.
I've tried to be the real me, yet no one around me can take,
The frowns, the tears and depression, soon I realized that fake smiles are easier to make.
But to everyone outside, I am completely strong,
Yet they could never imagine, that in their minds they are wrong.
They don't see the hidden me , trapped on the inside,
They don't know how many times a day I really think about suicide.
And they don't know all the thoughts running through my head,
And still they don't know, about all the lies in the words I have said.
Yet my life is set out on paper in this real long script,
Everyday I think that into pieces, they should be ripped.
But I'll go on showing everyone this fake smile,
Acting as if things are okay and like things are worthwhile.
But I am here to show, that people can be fake,
They will lie, cheat and deceive for whatever is at stake.
Yet I need you to know, someday I'll show the real me,
Just wait and be patient, someday soon you'll see...

~Madison Leigh~ June 28th 2005