Gone Just Gone

So sad why do I still feel so sad?
I know my boys have been torn away
I know my life is different each and every day
I know things can never ever be the same.

My heart still breaks from day to day
Each waking moment I rue that minute
That tragic second when I knew you were gone
And nothing could change it-you were both-just gone.

How hard I wanted to save your lives
But I stood and watched as you plunged from the skies
Not once did I notice the people around
As my heart screamed I watched you both go down.

The noise – that noise I will never forget
Then silence – dead silence as the ground you met
It was all over then.
The men in my life at that instant - were dead.

What were your thoughts? Did you have time for any?
Did you think of me? Did you say “I love you son?”
Your last moments on Earth were they filled with pain?
Questions – no answers. Questions asked again and again.

Deep in my heart I want to believe
That neither of you suffered that neither of you screamed
I can’t bear the thought of your final pain
I can’t bear the thought of never seeing you again.

It’s all so god dammed final
Nothing can ever be changed
My life and yours – It’s never to be