The Truth About Drinking

I read this in the paper,
And it really made me think;
That a quarter of all road accidents
Can be blamed... directly... on drink.

Now statistics, they tell you, will never lie,
But be wary of how they're used;
You need your wits about you,
It's easy to get confused.

If a quarter of accidents are had by drunks,
Then sober people have all the rest;
That's 75% if I'm not mistaken,
... (My maths never were the best).

But I'm not entirely stupid,
And I plan to stay alive;
So I'm gonna start driving drunk,
I'm three times more likely to survive.:D