The Paper

I found a paper just the other day
A paper of mine
A paper from last year
The things I saw
The words I read
I wrote it
I wrote it all
Death written in big letters
Drop of blood stain the paper's edges
A cross and a stone drawn in the middle
Engraved R.I.P
Phrases and sayings written everywhere
Of things I once said or thought
There's a black heart with a big red X
Broken hearted never will I love again
More blood. more drawings, more words
I touch the paper
It hurts at the slightest touch
All the pain, guilt, anger, and insanity
Rushes of emotions of thoughts
Close my eyes
I feel it all
I see it all once again
That very night the paper was created
Was the night i wanted to end it all
End everything
But here I am
A year from then
I've made it
I can live my life
I'm getting better