Foolish Foal

by Lenny   Jul 27, 2005


The end is near,
oh foolish foal,
you let santa,
give you coal.

Your presents here,
are nil and null,
christmas to come,
shall be dull.

The list is written,
Your name-not there,
It seems Santa,
Is one to fear.

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    The third stanza does not conform to the meter you set your self, which is a shame because up until then the flow was nigh on perfect.

    I think you could lose the second christmas too, simply because you don't want to repeat yourself with key words in poetry this concise.

    You have a good idea that has been presented nicely, I feel that you just need to polish it a little and let the piece complete itself.

    Bret

  • 18 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    that's cute in a sad kinda way.

  • 18 years ago

    by fallen angel

    it rhymes really well, keep writing

  • 18 years ago

    by Marjan

    good rhyming