Hard time

It's hard to talk about something i kept deep inside for all this time i wish i was better but it seems every time i end up being the one crying it hurts because i don't know if I'm being loved or being pushed aside please tell me if I'm wrong or if this is just a lazily written song its not love well it is but not the one true type of love its the love of those supposedly close after four years of pain i have a hard time keeping inside what was there for such along time and i end up crying more then before so as i sit here asking god for repent about something i didn't even commit i write about all the pain thats so dam hard to keep inside i mean after so long its just to dam hard of a time...Please forgive me for the hatred inside but it's just to hard of a time...to keep it all inside...