Built Confusion

by Poetic Tragedy08   Aug 18, 2005


Two shattered eyes
In a sea of moon light
What I wanted was true
You came into my sight

For crying days on end
I've wanted to see you
After so long of months
That we've been through

But the sight of your eyes
Your body, your soul
I thought I would feel good
I thought I would be whole

But my heart was yanked
Because you looked back
I lied with a full smile
While my heart grew a crack

You smiled towards my heart
But I could see your hate
Probably because it's been so long
We've waited until too late

I don't know how I feel
Confusion is too built
Maybe it's love but also
Maybe you feel guilt

You've held me back
But I've done the same
Now our love is down
To the flickering flame

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Kayla

    Wow amazing poem....very well written....rough in a few spots but other then that great job....5/5 thanks for the comment on my poem....it means a lot!!! keep up the great work....luv yas mwah

    -kayla-

  • 18 years ago

    by Stacinator

    Another 5! I like your way with words, they have such a deep meaning.

  • 18 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Amazing.. i love it.. nice strong ending.. the last stanza is priceless.. keep it up..

  • 18 years ago

    by CHOKE

    Wow this was another totally amazing poem! hehe =) i luffed it!
    keep up the gr8 work...this poem rox =) lol! 5/5!
    elizabeth

  • 18 years ago

    by AllHailTheHeartbreaker

    Great job. Just a suggestion, but in the 1st line of the 4th stanza, instead of 'My heart was yanked' I think if you varied your vocab and used something like 'My soul was yanked' it would get reader's attention a lot better, but if you're touchy about your poetry like I am (*blush*) then I can understand why. Very good job though -- there's a lot of feeling put into it. I hope to read some more of your poetry.
    -Kate
    (4)

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