Losing It

I walk into my room
Sit on the floor
Pick up the blade
And lock the door

Wipe away
The tears from eyes
The tears of years
Of wanting to cry

But now I'm crying for everything
Everything that hurt so much
Everything that I never cried about
I just hid it away to be tough

I'm crying because of pain
Crying because of them
Crying because of shame
Crying because there's no end

I wipe my face
One last time
One last time
Before I die

I write one last entry
In my diary of life
The life of hidden pain
The diary holding a knife

I write to all the people
Who never really cared
The people who hurt me
And the people that where scared

I put my diary away
And put the knife on my wrist
I breathe in very slowly
And then start to slit

I slit my wrist deep
Again and again
But my body is so numb
That I barely feel pain

The only pain I feel
Is the pain in my heart
The pain in my head
That has been there from the start

I say goodbye to the world
That doesn’t' t understand
The one that doesn’t let me
Be part of the master plan

I say goodbye to the people
Who can't stand my face
The one's that never new me
To them I was a disgrace

I saw goodbye to my sisters
The one's who were always there
They always saw me as me
And no matter what they cared

I say goodbye to my life
The one that turned out so wrong
The life that was too bad to be real
The life that went on too long

I lay down on the floor
The blood trickling down my arm
And although my body is being drained
I am amazingly calm

I slowly lose consciousness
I slowly my shame
I slowly lose my life
I slowly lose all the pain