Darkness

by cowgirlstar26   Sep 13, 2005


All alone in the night
I lay awake and look into the sky
I love to stay in all the stillness
to be consumed by total darkness

When rain falls from the heavens
I look upon the many reflections

always walking through the rain
crying alone to release the pain

with blood stained sleeves and tear filled eyes
No one has ever heard my silent cries

I often walk through the shadows of death
then find myself struggling for breath

the opaqueness of my life is getting so strong
Like the essence of everything I still don\'t belong

scars re=opened with every scream
but here in the darkness no one will ever see.....

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Jason Meres

    I thought about what I could say to this one, only one thing has come to mind, so I hope you don't mind this short comment. Brilliant lines, truly.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    1. I thought the "..." at the end of your last stanza were exactly right; you should have written another stanza. This poem doesn't seem complete. The only exception is if you purposefully left the ending open in order to symbolize any number of things, like being lost or fading away.

    2. I'm not exactly sure why you decided to write the first stanza unrhymed and the rest of the stanzas as rhymed couplets. It is a bit disconcerning, and it makes me wonder as to how much the first stanza belongs in its current state. You should consider making it 2 different rhymed couplets with the same meaning and message.