Hybrid Mind

by Drew Gold   Sep 20, 2005


These skies are too narrow,.. to show our connection..
this water is too shallow.. to hold our reflection
descending from the stars and rising from the seas
point blank in the middle.. thats where we meet
two people that differ in every sense of the word
they're so alike in reality,.. but so absurd
to some it might seem,.. but i know the deal..
i am a fraction of what makes it so real..

above the depths so fast i am sinking
beneath the skies until i fade away
ill always know exactly what you're thinking
and precisely what you're going to say

an extension like this is so rare
our life lines create the square
as i stare off into the time to come
i'm so young and so unprepared

you show me where i sometimes fall short
and point out the times that it spills over
you unveil the mirrored view of all sorts
and remind me what its like to still be sober

half of whats yours, n half of whats mine
is fractured off from the dense skyline
and structured into flesh to combine
a hybrid mind that no one can define

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  • 18 years ago

    by Jamie

    Okay this was an amazing poem as well i enjoy your work a great deal but before i go off on how wonderful you are i think it really takes from your poem when you spell words such as "you"..."u" or "in...."n" i know it is a small thing and you might not think it matters but this poem is so descriptive and so elegant and typing two extra letters isn't that hard.....

    um it was rough in some areas i loved the first eight lines they were beautiful!!!! then you started to lag a little and things didnt match up quite as well

    (i dont know if you grouped the first two stanzas on purpose or if it is supposed to be two but if it is supposed to be two)

    the 3rd stanza you broke your rhyme scheme and honestly with the ideas that you have and the way you want to word things i dont think a rhyme scheme was completly the best choice for this poem because you have amazing ideas like your are a genius but it was somewhat choppy and what not

    anyhow good job, im going to give it a 5/5 because it wasnt just good it was excellent even with the flow breaks i still loved it

  • 18 years ago

    by Shædow Poet

    This poem is one that should be read aloud. I was sitting here and reading it; nice meter, nice flow, I loved your internal rhyming, the first two lines were flawless.
    The only thing that turned me off this poem was your spelling! "u" instead of "you" "i" instead of "I" PLEASE revisit this and fix those things up. It might seem petty... but damn, it'd be worth it!
    Still, nice job.

  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha

    Wow. Your words really do hit me hard.

    I would nitpick but I just enjoy reading your poetry so much that I won't degrade it in my mind. It's hard to find a poet on this site I can respect and find a challenge from. ;) But I love the images you give me and the way you write your thoughts.

    This poem really struck me as meaning a lot (to me). I know it says friendship poem but to me it's exactly how I'd describe my relationship with my "significant other"...Because, I suppose, he is my best friend first and everything else second...

    Anyway, I really loved this poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    This poem had a great conclusion that really did wrap it all up. I only have a couple of problems with this poem. The first stanza is longer than the rest of the stanza, which is more of a formatting thing than anything else. Another thing that sort of got me was that the first two lines are the only ones with internal rhyming (unless I missed other ones). I felt like that left the beginning a bit heavy and the middle comparatively weak.

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