Better Days...

After weeks on the right track
I stupidly broke the rule
I threw up so hard I cried
I broke down like a fool

I cut myself again
Even though I promised to stay strong
I told myself that it was right
But I knew that it was wrong

I lied to make it better
Covered up the bleeding lines
Told everyone that I was happy
That my life was still going fine

I wanted to stay in bed
But got up to another day
I knew that if I held on
I would be ok

But now Im not so sure
Where is this coming to?
How many more tears to cry?
How much more left to go through?

Sometimes I feel like giving up
Like I have nothing left to give
My heart doesn't want to beat
I just don't want to live

Other days are perfect
I laugh and joke all day
Then I wake up again
And all that goes away

So tell me what to do
Or show me where to go
Because I've suddenly lost my way
And I no longer know

***This is my first poem back... lots been going on and some of it I needed to right down. Please comment or vote. Thanks***