Mask and tears

Its so hard
to put on my mask
and act all happy
knowing it wont last

and sure enough as soon as they leave
the smile disappears
and I'm still not pleased

and when I'm alone the tears come out
stopping only when i hear a shout

and yet i try not to mind
and actually be kind
when little miss b!t(hy cries and whines

but yet when tears escape my eyes
all i hear are laughs and sighs

like they don't understand that i want to die
yet deep inside me ill find some time

and knowing that i cant help but want to go
i feel so fake
as i shine at people and then cry