When I Was Younger

When I was younger I really hated myself
I would have done anything to trade lives with anyone else
Living in fear of what my life would become
I was going through the motions but inside I was all numb

Envying anyone I would walk by on the street
Casting my stare low so our eyes would not have to meet
Not having enough confidence to look anyone in the eye
No self esteem I was way beyond shy

Always thinking of death because there was no easier solutions
In no way was I living up to my own expectations
Observing others as they interact with their friends
I bet they give absolutely no thought to their ends

Every morning when I wake up I tell myself that today I must be strong
For I could not make an attempt at my life in case anything went wrong
I was lost in a state of deep depression but unwilling to admit it
A failed suicide attempt is a fast way to get ones self committed