I can't stop thinking

Everywhere I go...
EVERYTHING I do...I just can't stop thinking
Thinking about everything.
I see those pretty, skinny girls walking around
And then I go home...
I strip down so my bare body is just standing there
I stare at it in the mirror
"Pudge there", I point
I suck my stomach in,
Gross
Then I look at my face
"What is wrong with me?" I ask myself.
I get into the hot shower
I just sit down and I start crying...
Crying so hard, harder than I’ve ever cried before
I grab the razor
I press it hard against my skin,
My leg is now bleeding...there goes the blood...down the drain
More blood...
My wrists are bleeding.
I clean myself up, finish my shower.
I get out, look into the mirror again
Point out my flaws
Then I break down again.
I just can't stop crying...
Comparing myself to my friends
The people around me
Everyone.
Thinking...
Thinking of everything I could have...
If only, I had the body everyone expects me to have
If only I had the face I need.
But I don't have that,
And I never will.