PrOvEnIeNcE uNkNoWn

It feels like nothing-
Hurts like everything.
You turn the room upside down,
And I fall awake.
This is the worst pain I have had to take.
You follow me, even in my sleep.
The days are long, the nights, I weep.
Im trying to cry the hurt away.
I need you here, and I want you to stay.
Searching for a styptic agent to stop my bleeding.
I can not control what my mind is perceiving.
Provenience unknown,
Why do we cut so deep, to the bone?
Im stuck between
Hating you
Loving you
And missing you.
Its not going to stop.
How long has It been this way?
I doubt I could even count the days...
Or the numerous efforts to kill my pain.
I want us to go back to the way that we were.
Before the refulgence faded,
Before everything became a blur.