MY SUICIDE

I used to love, but now I have changed,
Now there is only hate running through my veins,
I release some of it through my wrist,
I collapse and start having fits,
Oops too much blood and too deep,
Now I am falling into an irreversible sleep,
I begin to panic and start to freak out,
I need some help, so I shout,
Then I remember I am alone,
Just like I planned, no one else is home.
Cutting is just a game,
Where death is the aim,
I dont want to play anymore, I give in,
But it is too late because I am about to win.
It is then I realise how stupid it all was,
To my friends and family: I am so soz,
I didnt actually think I would succeed,
Im am now sorry forgive me please,
I no this all sounds pretty lame,
But I only wanted to release my pain,
It just got a little out of control,
I withdrew from reality; I buried myself into a hole,
I didnt think cutting would last this long,
I thought it was just a phase, boy was I wrong,
It was so addictive, it wouldnt go away,
It literally followed me into my grave,
Where I now rest,
Thinking of the problems which caused my death,
But what was actually wrong with my life?
I was attractive, happy and rarely in strife,
Well that is what I liked people to think,
No one knew I needed a shrink,
No one knew, my dad dealt drugs and smoked them,
No one knew at my school I didnt once have one friend,
No one knew my dad bashed my mum when I was five,
No one knew how miserable it was for me being alive.
You may have known this, had you paid me some attention,
Or mum, if once in a while you showed me some affection.

***the story of my life minus the actual dieing part***
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