Me, myself and I

by xX-jess-Xx   Nov 23, 2005


Look at us fighting,
I'm trying to hold you back.
I dunno, I just can't help,
giving you some slack.

Look at the game we're playing,
Its not a game of tag,
You're literally using my emotions,
as a punching bag.

You're slamming me about,
pushing me against a wall.
Telling me I'm not good enough,
and you watch me as I fall.

How can we not get on?
When you're what I aspire to be.
I wanna be just like you,
Please stop hurting me.

Everyone looks up to you,
You're powerful and strong.
You're the leader of all leaders,
and have been for so long.

You make the worst decisions,
and theres nothing I can do.
but sit back and watch you destroy,
things that were once so true.

I've been searching for the solution,
to make you go away.
But in ways I don't understand,
I want you here to stay.

so once again we're battling,
you're hurting me so much.
I love your cold emotion,
but fear your icy touch.

But this time I fight back,
just to make you see.
But as I feel a stab of pain,
I realize that your....me.

**this is still in progress, so cud u comment n give advise?!**

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Katlynn

    I think it's a great poem the way it is. I don't think you need to change it at all. I really liked the concept of everything of how you actually afraid of yourself and you don't know how to deal with it. amazing job. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever.

  • 18 years ago

    by The Poetic Child

    Dang that was Great, thats what i call a Poem 5/5 great work

  • 18 years ago

    by xDryTearsx

    This poem was so amazing i loved it so much especially the ending. great job.

  • 18 years ago

    by KaYkAy

    Omg... that literally gave me chills... that was sooo good... my fave part was: I love your cold emotion,
    but fear your icy touch. GREAT way to display emotion that really sends the msg... that was great... wow... plz keep writing...

    kaykay

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Ooohh what a great last line!
    Anyway, I really liked the descriptions and language especially in stanzas two and eight. The flow was good though out most of the poem. A good way to ensure good flow is going for similar syllable counts for each line, similar line length, and then reading them aloud just to make sure.
    The last line as I've already said was great...only there is one mistake on there, "your" should be "you're."
    Keep this all in mind and if this is still in progress let me know when you have edited it.
    Very good write, this one impressed me a lot.
    Take care,
    Silver.

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