Unanswered Prayers

Many a long year I was angry with God
Bitter because he failed to answer my prayers
Each night as I lay down I would make my plea
Money, fortune and fame were not what I sought
Not once did I ask for something I could have bought

I spent my time seeking an end to my life
It did not matter how just that it came
As time passed I became angrier that I was ignored
Dear God please deliver me from this wretched life
I took risks and unnecessary chances trying to end the strife

The audacity of him to ignore such a simple prayer
Never once thinking that I asked too much
Seeking a quick death or an affliction that would not heal
Apparently I had a part to play in someone's life
I was forced to endure finally saving my son from my wife

I played my part and performed with all my heart
Suddenly I began to feel and enjoy what I had
I did not know why but I knew that I had to try
Letting people into my life they were no longer at arms length
It has been over a year and I lived my life gathering my strength

I felt with all my heart and loved with all my soul
Experiencing things I never thought I would feel
Lately though I am tired and the feeling has turned to pain
I never realized I would feel such deep sorrow for my giving
Hurt to the depths of my soul it is so hard, this living

I am no longer thankful for unanswered prayers
Yea though I saved my sons young life
I feel such a wound and unheard of pain
My affairs are in order it is time to blur that line
No matter how hard I try I cannot get back to fine