I Can't Understand

I just can't understand, Why
Just why does this happen to
Me? Why not anyone else? It
Just happened to me, like if my
Brothers and sisters where just
Not alive at all.

I been through the abuse, I been
Through the pain, but yet nobody
Listened and to me they acted like
If they didn't care. So I thought
What is the point of living if no one
Can help, what's the point of screaming
If no one would listen. What would be
The point of crying if I will never have
A shoulder by my side.

But then I chocked as I just thought,
Nobody listens because I never want
Them to, nobody cares because I always
Tell them not to. Nobody helped because
Nobody ever knew about the abuse and
Pain I have always been going through.

So what was it that never let me open
Up...the sacredness I had over the
Abuse...the sacredness I had over
The pain...that let me just think
If I just did open up...open up just
A little bit....the abuse and pain I
Already had would get deeper would
Be heavier....but most of all...more
Hurtful than I have ever felt before.