Me, Myself and Eye

(Me, Myself and Eye is about my line manager at work who had to have a glass eye put in. People at work asked me to write a poem for her about the new eye which I thought was sick. I eventually gave in though. She liked it.)

I went up to London with my Bob last week
Where we heard a young lady scream out
I thought she had seen my unsightly old Bob
\'til i saw my false eye had popped out

Now I\'m over the worst I\'ve a new look on life
With an eye that is not that much smaller
Though I think the op. was done by the chiropractors
As I\'m also another foot taller

The eye\'s fortified, made from pure British steel
Which is why my new eye\'s really strong
But it\'s got down sides too, like when I want a game
As a ball it\'s no good for ping-pong

But it\'s real special too, odds on made in Japan
With the soft application of fission
So now hurry up boys as it\'s going for sale
Coz it\'s got this hi-tech x-ray vision

Now the doc sent a message to keep my eye clean
And he sent it to me on a wreath
So at night it\'s in a bowl of mint-fresh Steradent
Alongside of my dear Bob\'s false teeth.