Suzette Part I: The Birthday

(Poem about a married woman with kids at my old workplace)

There is a girl called Suzette
Who\'s been trying to start a trend
By not being much of a mother
And even lesser of a friend

She will not even make proper dinners
Not even when everyone begs
She believes she\'s the next Jamie Oliver
Although I\'ve never seen him serve up burnt eggs

But that\'s enough of her dysfunctional homelife
Coz us workmates we want a quick word
We don\'t like the way we\'re being treated
Just like one, massive and huge, great, big turd

See she can be just so downright impatient
Always feeling the need to advance
All her sentences they come out \'blah,blah,blah\'
\"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, GIVE YOUR POOR BRAIN A CHANCE\"!

Then she starts to sing along with the radio
And that is something we just do not need
See she thinks she\'s a genuine diva
But she just makes our poor old ears bleed

Now she\'s all well aware of her vices
And she\'ll try almost every known trick
To get right back inside of our good books
Like showing us all her nude pic

She was passing it round like a trophy
Everybody transfixed by her chest
And I guess it was used as a bribe too
To help her pass in that tough theory test

Now you know the bad habits of this woman
But things have just gotten twenty times worse
Since she wants to pass on her so-called \'love\'
In the form of a warm hearted \'NURSE\'!