Nothing to gain

Bringing me down is your best skill,
because you know that it hurts me,
and makes me ill.
You abused me emotionally,
and physically,
and for that its hard to forgive,
but here I am hurt and broken still, but I lived.
I broke free from the pain,
and feel i have nothing to gain,
you were my life, my heart and soul, your the one who made me feel whole.
That's why I feel the way I do,
I put my heart,
and my trust in you.
You let me down, as i did you,
so tell me now,
what am i supposed to do?
I can't moved on,
believe me i have tried,
you have no idea,
of all the tears I've cried.
My eye's are dry now,
but my heart is still in pain,
for 9 months now,
i have been driving down
the same lane,
you have a girlfriend,
and like i said before,
I have nothing to gain,
because you were my heart,
sun, moon and stars,
you were my rainbow after the rain.