Don't Tell me It'll Be Ok

7th jan

They tell me there's still hope
Some more pills I haven't tried
Some more intoxicating chemicals
That will erase the nights I've cried

Some magic little happy pills
To keep me 'safe' at night
Well tell me what's the use in that
When I no longer want to fight

I've done the chemical highs
And the smiles are all so fake
All I need now is to find some peace
I've had all that I can take

The future ahead feels so bleak
Yet they tell me to carry on
Willing me to invent some hope
That will help me to stay strong

But it's all a little late
For you to tell me to hang on
For months I cried out, warning people
That I was struggling to go on

30 pills, I was back there again
Crying alone in a hospital bed
Different psychiatrists trying to assess
What was going through my head

And no doctor I will not open up
For there's nothing left to say
You don't know the pain, the memories
Yet you tell me it'll be okay?

The one person I trust came to visit
To try and talk things through
But now I feel I've lost everything
And it looks like I'll lose him too

Sleeping the day and nightmares at night
I need an escape to this hell
Suddenly everyone wants me to talk
But there's nothing left to tell

A crisis team, a different person each day
Trying to find a way in
They always fail 'cos I've got to protect
Everyone from this pain within

What's the point in fluids and food for this body
When it only prolongs the pain
How can the future be any different
When each day I live is the same?

I'm tired of these days
And I'm tired of the nights
I'm tired of pretending to stay strong
I'm tired of trying to fight

So talk to me all that you want
Try your hardest to show me the way
But when you see my tears falling
Whatever you do, don't tell me it'll be okay