Something I want to see

It feel like ive become in way to deep
a little to far and over my head
its as if I no longer care about myself
as I f i never really had to begin with
I want to be the girl I used to be
the girl I would look into the mirror and actualyl see
Ive become such a different person
not whoe I used to be back when I was me
now its like looking into the mirror and seeing someone I dont know
It wasnt until now thinking about like that I realize I was always right
I said this was who Id never be
ad yet its me that Im never able to see
ive changed because of the things that go wrong
because Ive blocked it out for so long
pretending like things were going to be ok
and thinking they were really better that way
thats why I wrote this about the pain I feel
things arent just insie my head they are actually all around
which is why I take out my emotions by writing them down
its helping to be able to admit that im not okay
but hopeful that things dont have to stay this way