My Mistake

This can't be real.
I didn't do it.
There's no way it happened.
I swore I wouldn't.
I looked him in the eye and said no.
I promised myself I wouldn't let him.

But somehow,
Some way,
It happened.
He whispered to me,
Just like he used to,
And got under my skin.
He twisted me around his finger,
Just like he used to,
And got exactly what he wanted.

This can't be real.
I didn't do it.
There's no way it happened.
I swore I wouldn't.
I looked him in the eye and said no.
I promised myself I wouldn't let him.

It didn't feel right,
But he talked me into it,
I let him.
I've been lonely,
I still feel for him,
Part of me still loves him.
He knew it,
He used it,
And now he's gotten what he wanted.
Who knows what will happen now,
I don't even want to think about it,
I'm so disgusted with myself.

This can't be real.
I didn't do it.
There's no way it happened.
I swore I wouldn't.
I looked him in the eye and said no.
I promised myself I wouldn't let him.

I won't do it again,
I won't let him do that to me,
I can't do it again.
It hurts so much,
For just a moment,
It felt like we were together again.
But we're not,
We're never going to be,
And I won't go through that again.

This can't be real.
I didn't do it.
There's no way it happened.
I swore I wouldn't.
I looked him in the eye and said no.
I promised myself I wouldn't let him.

....I just wanted to be held...
....I just wanted to be comforted...
....I just wanted to be loved...