The Wingless

You were like an angel
my angel
a fun caring loving guy
more like a wingless angel
trapped on this earth, here with me
in a perfect world you would still be here
holding me tightly telling me it's all okay
and not to feel this way
you have no idea what your death caused me
i used to think that i was strong
now all i can feel is weakness,
pain, grief, depression, insanity, loss
maybe i should hate you for this,
leaving without saying goodbye
i just can't find my way without you
I'll never forget you
i miss you too much to ever do that
i can't stop crying
and I'm starting to feel like dying
i just want to see you again
no one can believe it at all
we really don't want to
i hope it's all a joke, some sick joke
but it seems that it's not
it's all anyone talks about now
how much we miss you
i can't stand it anymore
I've had too many losses
and I've cried too many tears
smashed too many pictures
in frustration, i hold a knife tightly
dearly, mighty, in fear
i hold it to my throat
it will end my life tonight
if you left this world without a goodbye, i will too
i barely knew you, i just want to be with you
you're an angel, now with wings
you're now free to roam the world
and i hope to roam it with you, hand in hand
Michael... i love you

__This is a poem to Mike, also known as "the wingless" I REALLY miss you. I barely knew you, yes.. but I really do love you. We all miss you soo much. I hope you're up in heaven looking down on me. Making sure I'm safe. Hold me tightly, don't let me cry anymore. Please, I can't stand to cry anymore. He died today (3/22/2006) from cancer, my second loss due to cancer. Rest In Peace Dear Michael- Love always, Mandi.