My prison

I know they care
I know they love me
and need me here
but
how can I survive
when my heart holds me captive? how can I live
when my own mind keeps me prisoner?
doubt fills me up and
I can not out run it
but if I give in
then I know
I will make them hurt
I can not just take it
just except it and move on
thats not me
no, my heart
will twist it and turn it
and use it against me
it will keep me locked up
letting no one in
and keeping me
you see its my prison
made especially for me
meant to hold me captive
and keep me from those
who I so desperately need
and so I ask myself...
what do I do
how can I escape cmy prison
without hurting
those who love me?