I'm so confused

I really don't understand why your on my mind
i hate it that your the one i always want to find

i wish my thoughts weren't always directed at only you
i wish i could forget all that you've put me through

i hate how i want you really really bad
i hate how when you leave i always get so sad

it hurts with all my heart when you say mean things to my face
it digs deep in my heart and i can't ever really erase

did you kiss me cause of the alcohol or was there something there??
am i blind to see that you don't really care??

please answer all these questions, i need to no how you feel
all these thoughts unanswered in my head and i don't no how to deal