Finding my way

As I lay awake late at night
I reminisce about some awful sights
I remember how I've been alone
Hopelessly waiting by the phone
remembering the fake friends in hate
While I just hope for a new clean slate
Trapped in anger and fear
Little voices are all I hear
The little voices in the back of my head
All the awful things people have said
Stupid things behind my back
Stupid people that have to act
I look for a reason to continue to live
I don't have much more to give
I look for a reason not to disappear
No one really needs me here
I take the knife and watch the blood
Cry because I feel like crud
I look in the mirror, into my eyes
Maybe these scars were not too wise
One more step I'm off the edge
The stair, the balcony, or mountain ledge
The so-called friends soon find out
They demand to know what it's all about
They give me a slap and say I'm not OK
They want to help is what they say
I yell at them to go away
I cry and say I can't find my way

Written on March 20, 2006
Dedicated to R.L. my bestest friend for more than half my life