Shade of Happiness

You're not here
And it makes me see
How lonely I really am
Alone I will always be

I told you how I felt,
You just sat with no reply
So I fell into a deep depression
Alone, inside my mind, I cried

Everytime I'm with you
You speak of things I envy
It makes me hurt inside
No shade of happiness or glee

These things you say
Make me uncomfortable
My mind locks up and I cry
Inside my emotions are uncontrollable

I just want to grab your arm
And pull you up to me
And tell you how much I love you
And kiss you passionately

I wish I could tell you
Ultimately, how I feel
But I cannot even tell you
I don't even think I'm real

So here I am, alive
I cannot take the pain
Because my wrists are slit
In the end, I'll never feel again

I want to love you so
But you only make me sad
So here I am, alone, dying
You'll never make me glad