A Lie or the Truth?

Layers of fat..
Look in the mirror, that's all I see.
Why did god punish me with this gruesome physique.
Praying to god.. make me thin I plee.

Pinching at the fat on my tummy, thighs, arms..
What does he see in me?
I'm so unpretty..
But he seems to disagree.

Head over the toilet,
I'm on my knees..
I hear whispers all around me, "Don't"
Finger down my throat..I instantly freeze.

Why am I doing this?
To be thin?
Who am I trying to impress?
When did this obsession, disease begin?

All these questions go unanswered.
As my head begins to spin.
The world around me goes around in circles,
The bowl I stare down at.. now has a twin.

Crash, Bang, Boom...
I fall back, my soul spilling out from my head..
I get knocked out..
I see nothing, but hear voices..am I dead?

"Quick, someone call the ambulance!"
I try to say.. Baby, I'm ok.. but nothing comes out..
Now, lying in the hospital bed, on life support.
I'm trapped in this eternal darkness.. alone I pout.

Surrounded by family..
Doctors spill the bad news..
I choked on my own puke.
This news.. my baby decides to refuse.

He sat beside me and weeped..
Lifting me up into his arms,
I may be cold..but his touch will always warm my soul.
Around my neck.. he ties his lucky charms.

I kiss and embrace his memory,
Sitting alone in the night.
Staring..all of a sudden I see light..
Without a fight, I go towards it with delight.

One by one..each walks up to the casket.
Not a single dry eye..
As I weep from above, I let it fall like rain.
To my lover, there was no final goodbye.

Holding my ice blue hand..
His tears hitting my pale, lifeless face.
Looking through to my dead soul..
Memories in his mind pace.

"You are so beautiful, what you were.. why didn't you embrace?
Now..you have slipped away..
Though, I'm "living"..
My life is hollow without you.
Your touch, your laugh, your smile,
I miss it all..
With your life..
You took my soul, my heart, my laughter, my joy."

The tear hits my cheek..
"I love you"
Silently he walks away, without looking back.
He meant it when he said I was perfect..all this time I thought he was being untrue..