I wasn't good enough

I wrote this in October of 2004.. and am just posting it.. here it goes

for all the empty emotions
i will forever feel
you will never know
just how i truly deal

i hold in my silent tears
and locked away my screams
i will never tell you
how broken became of my dreams

i will never tell you
how you broke my heart
i will never sow you
how my world suddenly fell apart

after you left me
i cried myself to sleep
no one could help me now
i was in too deep

i began cutting and smoking
and sneaking out
i felt all alone
in a world of doubt

you were to good for me
and now i can see
i need to give up
i no longer want to be me

I'm sick of pretending
to have a smile on my face
knowing when i get home
tears will take its place

how will i go
who will try to stop me
I've made up my mind
i will no longer be

I'm so sorry
for putting you through this
the time i was with you was
extremely bliss

i will forever love you
they carefully engraved
for her life
only you could have saved