Tearing up from the insdie

Something clogs your throat,
You cannot talk,
You hold back your tears,
But its the kind you cannot block.

Some get through,
theres nothing you could do,
So you quickly
wipe them away.

Right bellow the chest,
Is where it hurts the most,
Feels like drums,
Played from the inside.

But these tears i cannot hide.
Just because she died.
Doesnt mean i have to cry.

Yet i do,
I cant stand it,
I canot take it.

I know this poem sucks.
But its not meant to rhyme,
Only,
To stop me from dying!