Another Failed Attempt

Another failed attempt
I tried to
and I so badly wanted it
but somehow
I failed
and once again
I'm left to wallow
in the shame of knowing
I can't end it but
I don't know how to fix
tears stream
and my fears
chain me down
the only way to severe them
is to toss my soul out
but here I am
once again
tears and blood mixed in together
and I fear its another failed attempt
maybe next time I'll get lucky
but probably not
so once more I pray
that maybe
he will end it for me
and I live each day hoping
tomorrow never comes because
I'm so alone
and even though
my friends are here
they want to see me happy
and with each frown
I see it on their faces
I hear it in their voices
I hurt them
and I can't bring myself to do it again
so I hide this
failed attempt and wait
for the next
wishing I could be the next
teenage suicide