The Weighing of a Soul

by Cody   Apr 18, 2006


(I will tell you now that this is the longest poem I have ever written and it is different from any thing else I have ever written so those of you who are used to me writing in a certain style don't be surprised)

Here I will pose a question
something for you to rest your mind on
An angle and a demon fight for control
over one man's soul
but before you hear their conversation
I think you need some background information

This was not a man with a heart of gold
Indeed his soul was very cold
He lays there with a gunshot wound
he knows his life is through
he was not some noble soldier
his plans were much bolder
he sold death
Guns, cocaine, and meth
part of him was so full of regret
but he just couldn't quit
he had a family to feed
he couldn't just leave
he had killed so many
destroyed the lives of plenty
he always feared the day
it would all come back on him in some way
well that day is today

The dying man spoke to the heavens:

I'm sorry for what i have done
sorry for what I have become
forgive me for the pain I have caused
If I could take it all back I would

Then the Angel spoke to the demon:

Listen to him
He asks for forgiveness and repents
with that you must relent

The demon replied:

This has only just begun
you will not take my fun
he only speaks out of fear
now that he sees his death is near

The man continues speaking
not knowing anyone is listening:

I did what I had to do
and I know my life is through
I did what I did to fee those I loved
I speak to you listening above

The angel stated:

he did this out of love
something you know nothing of
so you cannot judge him
For you do not understand who he has been

At this the demon laughed and said:

This man is a murder
he has killed fathers, sons, and brothers
yet you are right to say I cannot judge
something as pitiful as love
but it dose not change his crime
he has broken rules as old as time

at that he angel smiled (misunderstanding the demons meaning) and said:

I'm glad we finally agree
and as you can see
His soul belongs with me

The demon laughed and replied:

That is not quite what I meant
his soul is not yours yet
his fate is for someone else to decide
someone better than you or I
who can judge his soul with an all seeing eye

(I do not know how to end this because I can not judge him either,and I can think of no one better than my friends here so every one who leaves a comment vote on whether he deserves heaven or hell and I will write a fitting ending)

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Andy

    Nice poem. it is not my place to decide where he should go (that plus i dunno what to decide yet) so i will just leave it up to everyone else. well done!

  • 17 years ago

    by Fluffy

    An excellent poem, Cody. Very different, emotive and atmospheric. You manage to hold the poem together very well, and its structure is constant.

    In my opinion, you should end the poem with a few more stanzas, having the Demon take the situation to God, for him to conclude where this dying mans soul may be taken. You could almost make it a cliff-hanger, that way you are building more tension and are adding effective terms to your writing.

    Overall, I am pleased with this poem and am quite surprised at the chosen topic. I too have written a poem similar to this called 'A Descendent' and would be delighted if you could read it. I may just inspire you on how to end this piece =D.
    Well done and keep writing.

    Much love and God bless,
    Fallen.

  • 17 years ago

    by Erika

    Wow that poem totally blew me away, you're right it's completely different from anything you've written that I've read, but i still liked it.
    I Don't know what I'd say, I really can't judge him. I can see from both sides, I think he should go to heaven because when you're in love you'd do ANYTHING just for that person. But then again he killed people, I mean what if he killed one of your LOVED ones? Wouldn't you want justice for that? I think once you kill someone there is no going back, sure you can change, but KILLING someone, that's the ultimate mistake. So That's my opinion, and you should end it based on what you think. I hope you make a good choice:) I'm sure I'll love it either way.

  • 17 years ago

    by Mona

    Alright, this is pretty good! I loved the story it tells, with the conversations.
    Very interesting and unique.

    Well you asked those who comment to answer the question wether we think he should go to heaven or hell.

    Well that's a tough question.

    Personally I think he should just go to hell for the crimes he has committed. Because everyone is scared when their time has come. Even serial murders would fall upon their knees and cry and beg god for his mercy.

    Though I do not believe in hell nor heaven. Not to speak of god angels and devils.

    But .. immagining it would all be true I would say hell.

    But writing poetry is all about what you think. You have created this character in your poem, and it's all up to you what happens to him.

    Nice piece of work, really loved it

    Lotsaaaaaaaa love
    -xxx-

  • 18 years ago

    by DiscoBore234

    WOW!!! i LOVED it.... if you dont mind you can red some of mine and leave honest comments. I love critisism so its cool if you hate, just tell me so. but dont expect something as good as this