Crystal Ball

I'm not the cause of this problem,
But the source that's not stopping it,
Not defending others, nor helping them,
Just making up lies, always talking shit.

I'm not what people define me as, "a listener,"
But totally different, the hider of truths,
Opposite of the normal teens, gossiping,
Just another troubled and uncontrollable youth.

I'm not who so many see me as,
But exactly who they least expect,
The one that takes every little thing literally,
Just a fake girl, trying to make no affect.

I'm not the one acting all depressed,
But the one using tired as an excuse,
Hoping to hide behind the many shadows,
Just covering the tear and self-abuse.

I'm not the normal type watching my weight,
But worse than that, far too sick,
There's too many ways too label me,
So let's just say my reality is way too strict.

I'm not like before, no longer the advice giver,
But now helpless, not wanting to be shut out,
Wishing to be accepted like all the others,
Just to be liked, I can't go without.

I'm not trying to make others worry,
But when you're always sad, it seems that way,
Even though it's the last thing I want,
I guess dreaming wont work, I'm really not okay.