Angel of the Ivory Keys

by Brigitte   May 10, 2006

Sitting tall and proud
Drawing the attention of every crowd
There she sits in front of me
This Angel of the Ivory Keys

Sending sweet melodies to the sky
Grasping each note before saying good-bye
Her face colorfully dashed in glee
This Angel of the Ivory Keys

Her fingers gracefully hit every beat
While her slender body sticks to the seat
Paying respects to her wooden majesty
This Angel of the Ivory Keys

Creating beauty for the ears
Feelings turn from happiness to tears
Pleasing you is her guarantee
This Angel of the Ivory keys

Passer byers halt to listen
Watching her bright eyes glisten
She needs no sign, now a marquee
This angel of the Ivory Keys

Never faltering until ending her piece
The notes slowly begin to cease
There she sits in front of me
This Angel of the Ivory Keys

(I finally finished it! Tell me what you think!)


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    "Sitting tall and proud"
    It really seems ... too simple . Like overused kind of [not in the poem , like with other poems too] . Maybe find other ways to describe that .

    "While her slender body sticks to the seat"
    'Sticks' kind of sounds weird to me . In a way, I feel like it doesn`t fit into the poem . Like the vocabulary choice & that word just don`t ... I don`t know how to explain it .

    I feel like you should work on it a bit more . Maybe some slight revising and editing ? Other than that, I really have no negative things to say . I like the repitition (sp?) . Most of the time, people try to do that and it just doesn`t work . But you made it fly with the poem .

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Did you happen to know this is called a Kyrielle poem? Just wondering if you knew. Lol. Well, I must say this is one wonderful poem! I liked the flow of the poem and the rhyming scheme was perfect. You stuck to the same rhyming pattern. It bugs me when people jump from an aabb to an abab or abcb or abcd. Lol. It gets annoying. Well beautiful poem! God Bless 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by tyanna

    Very well done! I like that you repeated "The angel of ivory keys"...I do, however agree with most of what "Tamborineman" had to say.. He pretty much summed it all up in his comment.. I still think it was great hough and deserves a 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by ~*SugarCube*~

    I really enjoyed this poem. I thought it was very well written. Great job. The flow was really nice. 5/5


  • 16 years ago

    by TamborineMan

    Interesting poem, I like the title and material.

    Line 1: 'sitting tall and proud' seems repetitive. The term "sitting tall" denotes pride. Perhaps another word would add more description to the pianist.

    Line 5: 'sending' isn't very descriptive. I think you could find another word that would elicit stronger emotions

    Line 6 confuses me. I don't see how it fits or transitions.

    Line 10: 'sticks' - again, I believe you could come up with a better word. Sticks sounds... out of place - ie. "holds fast to the seat?"

    Line 11: I like the adjective, 'wooden' but I think if you use more detail describing the wood it would be better. "oaken majesty"? I dunno. Just a suggestion, I do like this line.

    Overall it seems well written. However, I'd say your biggest problem is the 'ing' words. Using active voice would draw the reader in much more effectively and give a more immediate sense of time and location.

    Hope this is helpful and not just critical