by my_little_secret   May 13, 2006

Everything's changing and it hurts me inside
Years of this measured in tears that I've cried
I look back in wonder at how it used to be
See how you formed and then tried to break me.

You built me up high with self esteem and self worth
Made me feel part of something special on earth
But the way I feel now with your cold comfort ways
Is enough to place steely hate in my gaze.

Because of the memories, because of the past,
I find it upsets me that this did not last
There were people that made me, experiences too,
But now all that's gone...and there's nothing I can do.

I can't get over the resentment...the pain!!
The way that I feel it, again and again..
What is it that makes me keep going back?
What is it that hurts me so much that I crack?

It's the way that my childhood is tied up in the hay,
The way the routine soothed my troubles away,
Sweet, genuine horses that gave all they'd got,
Deaf children learning to rise in the trot.

Each week I go back there and hope it might change
That the new ones won't look at me like I'm strange
For enjoying myself and the way that I think...
I turn up. Instantly my heart starts to sink.

The feel of the place, the lack of the heart
Destroys me inside, it tears me apart
To see the home that it was to me and my friends
Giving in to the most indignant of ends.


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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Stabbylou

    Awww, chighell, i remember when it was chigwell the bestest place on earth. this was fantastic, i never would have thought we'd be feeling this way or writing poems about chigwell and the horses like we do, ah well. dressage day was nice at least xxx

  • 14 years ago

    by xEmmax

    Oh, i dont know what to say :( it nearly made me cry. i hate that things had to change when it was all so perfect, and wow katie, this poem was brilliant in explaining everything. but i guess like everything now, it had to change too. but its not all bad, and i will be back in a few weeks :) and we can all go crazy! hehe. the past will always stay as a good memory too tho. woah, that was a bit of an essay, sorry!
    love u lots and misss uuu xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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