Your Look Cuts Deep

by Flying Phoenix   May 16, 2006


Twirling around my little finger
The wire cuts through
Gently pressing
Trying to forget about you

Bright blue sky above me
Lush green grass below
But all around
Wherever I look
I'm reminded of so

There you lie
Together again
Far away from this
Torture

I cannot cope
Or run and hide
You chase me here
Inside my mind

The screaming thoughts
Wrench hard at my life
Despairing when alone
I find a knife

Around my little finger
Tracing up my veins
The enticing point dances
As your face remains

Stabbing, tearing, ripping flesh
Bleeding, pouring, my hand of death
The pain surrounds
And I forget
The darkness comes
And I regret

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ali

    Wow that was just so hauntingly real, it brought a tear to my eye, especially the last section which was so urgent and so true, i can so understand your work and it's all amazing!!
    5/5 def!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Megan

    Hey Thanks bunches for the comment.... i love this poem of yours... and some of yours i can get where you are coming from and relate to them too... im just really getting good at this too... i started writing years ago but some of them are really bad but im still workin on it all... but yours are excellent....

  • 17 years ago

    by Fig

    That was such a sad poem. the repetition and the occasional striking rhyme that catched, surrounded by all the chaotic raw emotion. it has a sort of solemn pain to it. really bautiful writing.
    xxxxxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by MiSsEdHeArT

    This is a good poem! I think u r really doing good for just starting to write poems! I am a starter and I dont think I am very good ethier! But everybody tells me I am! U should check out my poems! 5/5 hehe

  • 17 years ago

    by Fallen Angel

    That was an excellent poem. The final stanza is especially striking. I really enjoyed reading this, all the way through the poem flows very gently, there seems to be little urgency about it and this helps to create a feeling of seduction, "Twirling around my little finger". But to end on such a vicious and rapid note was inpsired,
    "Stabbing, tearing, ripping flesh
    Bleeding, pouring, my hand of death
    The pain surrounds
    And I forget
    The darkness comes
    And I regret "
    You complete break the pattern and it makes the whole thing all the more shocking and powerful. I really really loved this one, 5/5! x