I wish
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener
Because then everyone would be in love with me
People always sing that song
But I've got a different jingle for them
My right fist has a first name
Its In-Your-Stupid-Face!
Its hyphenated
As a kid
I was obsessed with the melody
Of that giant weiner mobile
Penetrating the Horizon of my block
One day it stopped in front of my house
And I met
Mister Oscar Meyer Wiener-Man
One glance at that
Supreme Deity of wieners
And I knew
That Deep down
beneath the bun
there was a hero.
He Stepped outside
of his giant
beef-dog-school bus thing
and handed me
The treasured weeny whistle
I saw what I could only aspire to be
Because I could think of nothing I would rather do
Than travel the globe
And Bring joy to little wieners everywhere
But now I'm older
I have a family
I doesn't even eat hot dogs
And the weenie whistle
dosen't work anymore
I wish I had spent more time trying to become the man that was
my father
Or at least getting to know him a little better Before he died
