Feelings of a Cutter

Everyone asks why I Cut..
You cant ask a cutter why she cuts..
Its like asking a person why they breath.
or Why a person loves.
I Cant tell you why I'm in love with my boyfriend.
Its just the feeling I get. Like cutting..
Everything builds up inside of me..my head races
my heart races.. I close my eyes and I'm spinning
Spinning spinning spinning out of control..
and I fall.. The feeling of release after I cut..
You release a deep breath. A Sigh of relief.
To someone "Normal" Dealing with pain
Could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths..
Sitting down and collecting your thoughts.
That may be your way. But its not mine.
I'm not different.. or Crazy.. insane.
I'm just ME. This is what I do..
I don't do it for your pitty, And I don't want your "Sorry"
I don't want your "Please stop for me?"
I cant stop. and when I do.. Everything builds up..
And I feel like I cant handle it. I Feel like I'm slipping and falling.
And I run. When no ones there to help.. I Always know my razor is.
I Turn one pain,emotionally..Into another pain..physically.
I Cut because it makes me feel better inside..
And if you think that makes me different as a person..
Then great.. I don't judge you, And I'm sick of people judging me.
So don't ask me to stop. Would you ask me to stop breathing?
Then why would you ask me to stop cutting?
This is who I Am. This is What I Do. And these..
Are the Feelings of a Cutter.