Confessions of loving a monster

As I sit here again,
Company to myself,
Hands shaking.
Shivers spiraling.
Goosebumps forming on my skin.
Just a mixed up girl,
In a mixed up world,
Just a lost girl,
So lost in doubt,
Folding her hands underneath her arms.
If a ribcage is to protect my heart,
Then why does it still get broken?
These walls are built around me,
To protect me. But all they do is,
Suffocate me. They are built up, only to fall down.
Fall down.
And crush any point of my existence.
I never dreamed of doing this,
But the razor talks to me. So softly.
It tells me it's the cure to all of my pain.
It hits the weak spot of my temptation,
The blades lure me closer to an even worse disaster,
I can drown in my own innocence.
The colour of a rose,
The sweet scent of candy,
Dripping into my hands like new gold.
Is this the last spec sunlight I'll blink out?
The last ounce of air I'll inhale from the trees evergreen,
Forever my life machine.
This is the last time my wasted heart will beat.
This is the last time my wasted heart will love.
And how sad, that the last time I love,
I will be in love with a monster.
A monster that so silently watches.
Watches what its sly hallucination existence can form.
For I was shot down, with my wounds left open,
Letting all evil leave my soul.
Now dawn approaches,
And I am found,
In my bed where I created and spilt my love,
Unwrapping my fingers so loosely clasped
Around the answer to my prayers.
My last dying words of regret spelt in blood,
Lies so reckless on my arm.
"B-R-O-K-E-N"
I was beginning to love a lie, but,
Here, I lay.
Peacefully now.
The angels and devils had fought for my soul
So don't worry now.
This is for the best.
This is the end.

P.s I'm sorry.