Screams

LOVE the opening of this piece...incredibly powerful and moving, and creating so many emotions for the reader that it makes for a beautiful opening and I can't help but be drawn into the piece.

"i screamed for help but know one came."

^^ *No one came.

I wasn't too keen on the meaning behind this piece though..I find suicide/self harm poems somewhat cliche, and they've been done so many times that it gets kind of old.

However, I do love the imagery you put in here, along with the ending stanza, I found those to both be beautifully created and to hold so much power.

Keep writing. You have potential.

Im not to crazy bout this poem... you have better sucidal poems but you shouldnt be writing bout that anyways... you know all the people over here care bout you more than you even know and the people up in pa!!! i dont like this poem at all actually it almost made me cry!!! i love you sis!!!
xoxo kayla

Sound scary i nearly did that onec th last line could hav been better 4/5

Awwww.. that is soo sad, i think this is one of your better poems actually! it contained alot of emotion, and the descriptions were pretty good (you could add a few more details and adjectives though) and so was the flow.. nice write! 4/5

Typos Sorry So and I To much*

Not My.