Would you?

by JL   Jun 4, 2006


If you could change a moment
Rewrite time, your destiny
Change your life course
Would you, please tell me

Would you change that fight
Which led to that divorce
Would you have stopped
Before you hit her with force?

Would you avoid alcohol,
Cigarettes and drugs?
Which landed you in jail
Infested with bugs

Would you finish high school
Instead of dropping out
No longer working 60 hour weeks
Pride in place of doubt

Would you stop the abuse
Leave the loving boyfriend
Before anything happened
For a happy end

Would you rewind a little girls tears
From being beaten black and blue
Hearing she's unwanted
From the tender age of two

Would you see a doctor
To prevent a stroke
A family torn apart
Half wishing you would croak

Would you save love
And true love's first kiss
Or would you destroy it
For a few seconds of bliss?

Would you prevent 9-11
Try to warn the president
Stop terrorism and war;
Innocents being heaven sent

Could you change your future,
Or would it happen anyway?
Change just one thing
Whether tomorrow or today

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie84

    Oh MAN...I'll repost it in the discussion forum...SORRY!!!!!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie84

    Before I start I want to say that I LOVE this piece…as I told you in my prior comment. It gives you a million things to think about…in your own life and in the entire world even.

    I have three minor problems with this poem…in the third and fifth and seventh stanzas the last line seems like it was put there merely to rhyme with the second line. Maybe, I’m wrong…and if I am I do apologize…if I’m right, then a little tweaking could fix that problem nicely.

    Stanza 2, 6, 8, were PERFECT…I LOVE the way you wrote those. I’m wondering also, if the last stanza should need a tiny change…should it be “WOULD you change the future”

    In this stanza:
    “Would you see a doctor
    To prevent a stroke
    A family torn apart
    Half wishes you would croak”
    To ME it read like “wishes” should be “wishing” – I THINK!!

    Over all as I said this poem is awesome!! I think what you are trying to portray clearly comes across…I like this piece…well done…I hope my “critiquing” was helpful…if not I’M SORRY!!! LoL Take Care

  • 17 years ago

    by JL

    Thanks, i'm glad you enjoyed it =)

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie84

    I was reading that poem thinking back...what would I change. Wow...thought provoking...something I think we ALL sit and think about at one point in our lives. Nicely done!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Eibutsina

    A well written and thought provoking piece JL, really makes one question themselves and their actions...I love poetry which stimulates personal growth and contemplation and this a great example...In answer to the questions posed in your poem, with as many regrets as I may have I would not change a thing, the pain and laugher and love and hurt I have felt define who I am today and as sad as I have been at times, I am proud of the person I am today and would not change a thing...fantastic write though my friend :O)

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